


Wait. What? - A Destiel Crack Fic

by callipygian42



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Crack Fic, I don't know, M/M, Other, kinda vore vibes?, legit guys
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-08
Updated: 2019-12-08
Packaged: 2021-02-26 01:27:29
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,445
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21715303
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/callipygian42/pseuds/callipygian42
Summary: Castiel accidentally curses himself. Deliciousness ensues.Or.That story where Cas is a pie.
Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester, Pie/Dean Winchester
Kudos: 17





	Wait. What? - A Destiel Crack Fic

**Author's Note:**

> This is unedited and came out of my brain in one smooth plop. It started as a prompt that just kept going.
> 
> I rarely write so any feedback is appreciated.

Cas is warm, soft and pillowy outside, hot and gooey in the center. Wait. What? Cas wonders why he feels this way when suddenly there's pressure, straight through him, and then again, and again, pressing down, firm, cold against his warmth, almost painful but over so quick. Before he even has a chance to wonder at the sensation, he feels like a part of himself is floating. Is he asleep? Is this a dream? He must have his eyes closed, he can't see. Normally he can see, can't he? The floaty part of himself comes to rest against a smooth, cool ground. Settled now, he relaxes a bit. Trying to push his awareness into sight and not just feeling. There's light. The kitchen light directly above him. Oh no! Did he fall? Why can't he move? Suddenly, there's a stabbing sensation, a ripping. It takes his breath away...or it would if he were breathing! He tries to focus on respiration like he did vision. Just more warmth sensations, almost like steam coming in a constant exhale. He feels himself starting to panic, the sharp pain is gone but he can't breathe, the floating sensation is back, not entirely though. He can still feel smooth coolness against his back, another larger part feels warm and gooey. His vision is suddely flooded with Dean. Dean's face coming closer. Is...is Dean going to kiss him? Maybe he's giving him CPR! Dean! I'm in here! Cas tries to shout but he can't even breathe let alone move or speak. Dean opens his mouth and Castiel sees darkness close around him as Dean pushes him inside. Wait! What? Oooh, this is amazing. Enveloped in warmth, he feels Dean hum around him as he gives a little moan. Oh. Cas can hear a little now but he barely notices. He's lost in sensation. He's being pushed and pulled, broken apart and put together in wholly new ways. Dean's tongue pressing against him, him pushing into Dean's cheeks. The unbelievable pulsing, tightness of Dean's throat as he swallows him down! 

"Dean! Don't eat the pie!! It's Castiel!"

Dean looks up from his phone, a second bite already halfway to his mouth, "What the hell are you talking about, Sammy?"

"We were cataloging one of the storage rooms and Castiel picked up this pie plate" Sam gestures to the pie on the table, "and said 'If this isn't cursed, I would like to keep this. I would make a lovely pie for Dean' and then Cas and the pie plate were gone!" 

Dean's face pales, he puts down his fork. "Sammy. I already ate some. It was the most delicious pie I'd ever smelled. I couldn't resist. I needed to take a piece, I needed to get to it so bad, I didn't even question where it came from?! Sonofabitch! What are we gonna do?" Dean hasn't realized yet that he's panicking, nearly shouting. He feels like he should be disgusted. He just ate a piece of his best friend. But all he can think of is how delicious he was. Even now he can taste the pie on his lips, feels drawn to the pie on the table. He just wants to stick his face in the middle of it and devour it, pie eating contest style, feel the juice running down his chin, buried in that indescribable flavor. Sam clears his throat and pulls the pie from the table. Dean comes back to himself. He can feel his heart pounding in his ears, his dick throbbing in his jeans. Wait. What? "Dude. There's no way I can leave you alone with this. Whatever this magic is, it's strong. Go stay in your room while I call Rowena." Sam says, directing a confused Dean out of the kitchen with one arm and already dialing Rowena wih his other arm.

Sam knocks before letting himself into Dean's room. Dean is sitting on the edge of his bed with his head in his hands. Sam clears his throat but Dean doesn't look up, "Well, Rowena knew the magic right away. Wishing well washed crockery. It was said to grant one wish made with a true heart and for a new bride to always bake love into her meals." Sam looks to Dean, head still in hands, sighs, and continues, "She's never heard of anything quite like this happening though. Her suggestion," Sam clears his throat, Dean looks up, curious why sam is so uncomfortable, "is you finish the pie. Castiel's wish was to 'be a lovely pie for you' maybe if you make it come true, he'll return as himself?" Sam finally meets Dean's eyes. They're wide and incredulous. "Maybe? We're going with the maybe plan. Hey Dean! Eat your best friend! It'll be fine. And what if it's not? Huh, Sammy? What do I do then? I eat the pie and that's it. Poof! He's just gone. Forever. How am I supposed to live with that?!" "We could ask Castiel what he wants to do." "And how are we supposed to do that, Sam?"

It's taking every bit of strength Dean has to not roll his eyes as Sam explains "I think he's been trying to communicate with his steam. Cas if you can understand me, make two steam puffs." Amazingly, two little bursts of steam come from the pie. Dean can smell it. That tantalizing, mouthwatering deliciousness. He needs it. He closes his eyes tries to focus on what his brother is saying. "Did you hear what Rowena and I were talking about? One puff for no, two for yes." Almost immediately, two quick puffs. "Did you understand what she thinks will work?" Two more puffs. Now Dean interjects, "Do you think this will work?" Two puffs. Dean is already getting closer, leaning in, lips brushing the crust, "But Cas. What if it hurts?" One puff. "You don't know that!" Two puffs. Dean inhales the sweet scent, suddenly flooded with the memory of that one bite already had. Barely a nibble. But so good. His lips are against the crust, whispering, "Oh you're better than anything else I've ever had. I'm ruined after this you know, nothing can compare." Two puffs, a pause, two puffs, two puffs. "Mmm...Cas, I want you. I...I need you." One puff, four puffs, three puffs, two puffs, two puffs. Dean is too lost to notice, but Sam takes note as he backs out of the kitchen, running to get his noise cancelling headphones, but not fast enough to outrun his brothers moans.

Dean doesn't bother with a fork. Just goes in face first. He's entranced, no longer worrying about the implications of eating his best friend. He's nibbling the edges of the crust, practically drinking the filling, moaning as the big pieces of fruit stick slightly, not quite choking but filling his mouth, steadily running down his throat, just warmth around his face, his hands underneath the pie plate, pulling it from the butcher block they use as a table. Then there's warmth in his hands, a sudden heaviness, pressing them down, there's a clatter and a shatter as the pie plate falls and breaks on the floor, his face is still buried, in warmth, his mouth dripping with sweetness, but now there are hands in his hair, he can hear a chant of "Dean, Dean, Dean, yes. Yes. Yes! Oh. DEAN!" Dean cums untouched in his jeans as Cas comes in his mouth. Dean surges up and kisses Castiel. His lips are against Castiel's own, whispering, "Oh you're better than anything else I've ever had. I'm ruined after this you know, nothing can compare." Castiel whispers a soft chain of yeses against Dean's mouth as he continues, "Mmm...Cas, I want you. I...I need you." "I love you." Cas didn't whisper, doesn't shout from the rooftops, simply states. Dean pulls back, eyes searching. He must find the answer he's looking for because he surges back to Castiel, each devouring the others kisses, lips, tongues, breathless moans that turn to laughs as the both realize they standing in the kitchen still. Cas' bare ass on the table where they eat, Dean fully clothed. Someone suggests they go take a shower. As they pull each other, with hands, and kisses, towards the showers, both trying to get Dean's clothes off and not trip or stop touching, they pass Sam. Headphones not enough to block this sight. "Hey, Sammy, you probably wanna bleach that table!" Dean laughs as Sam flips him off and Castiel pulls him into the hall. Sam sighs as he goes to bleach the table, wishing there was brain bleach, too.

**Author's Note:**

> Dean does eat a piece of Cas and this is never addressed. Let's please just all ignore that. Also, that part was slightly non-con since neither knew what was happening? But i don't necessarily think it needs that tag? Please let me know if I should change that.


End file.
